Vieilleries retrouvées.

Retrouvé en cherchant des papiers... Ca date, mais c'est le genre de pensée qui s'est toujours appliquée chez moi, et qui vraisemblablement s'appliquera toujours. Parfois c'est une fille, parfois un garçon. Mais le sentiment est le même, au final. L'amour, c'est la misère, quand on y réfléchit trop. 

Et parfois... J'aimerais vraiment pouvoir éteindre mon cerveau.

"

To wish it had never happened. 

To wish you had never laid your eyes on her. 

To wish the world wouldn't revolve around her. 

Because life was easier before, when she didn't exist. 

When she didn't occupy your every thought, your every dream. 

When you didn't wish so bad that she wanted you back. 

Because she doesn't. Or does she?

Of course she can't.

But you don't really know anymore.

Neither do you have any idea as to how you could tell her how you feel. Or if you should.

You've never been a simple person. In your head, a molehill is a mountain. 

Always has, always will.

So what if...

What if you told her and got rejected? 

What if it ended everything whatsoever between the both of you?

But what if...

What if she did not reject you? 

Is this really what you want? 

Of course, you want something to happen, because she's fucking amazing. 

But do you really?

Will you bear to have her lay her eyes on you, when you yourself can't? 

Will you allow her to touch you, when you find yourself repulsive?

Will you let her in, when you keep everybody else out of your world?

I've been told to just go ahead and try anything with her, because I wanted it so bad. 

But i'm not really sure that's what I want anymore. Do I even want ANYTHING?

No idea.

I wish I could just close my eyes and rest, peacefully. 

I wish I could just forget about it.

Stop. Thinking.

"